Tag: Death

Have you recently lost someone special?

A grandparent passed away or a spouse walked away from your life together or even the loss of a beloved pet.

Grief takes many forms.

AND

Grief is hard enough the rest of the year let alone the holidays.

You have all those precious memories rushing back and overwhelm you.

I get it. You are not alone in this.

How are you expected to go on doing what you would do with your loved ones, without them?

Many people simply don’t.

They create a new tradition or avoid celebrating the holidays at all.

New traditions can be fun and exciting but avoiding the holidays is impossible.

They will come no matter how much you try to avoid them.

As a military spouse I have had to miss many holidays and miss even more precious moments with family.

When my grandmother passed away I had just found out I was pregnant with my second child and it was the day before my first child’s first birthday.

I fell apart. I just wanted to disappear.

Unlike a lot of people, I was very close to my grandmother.

I spent nearly every day for a month after getting home from abusive situation with her.

She helped me even when she had no idea she was.

We both had a passion for cooking and we would sit for hours talking about all the different ways to prepare things like asparagus.

When I got the call that she was gone..

I was 1,000 miles away from my hometown, baking my daughter’s first birthday cake.

I had no idea how I was going to pick myself up off the ground where I sat crying for hours and create a special day for my sweet Amelia.

I knew that my grandma wouldn’t want me mourning during Amelia’s first bite of birthday cake.

I was angry that I wasn’t there for my grandma and my family that was dealing with the loss first hand.

I was sad she would never met our sweet Charlotte Jean (she was named to have the came initials as my grandma, Clara Jean).

I was relieved that she was no longer feeling all the pain that she had been dealing with for years.

And I was joyful through it all because I knew that I would see her again someday.

But then the holidays come and the pain of her absence floods back.

Grief is so strange.

You experience it again and again over the same loss.

I am no expert in dealing with anything but I will share ideas that have helped me.

I think of the memories that I hold dear and I try to recreate them so that them memories I have can live in my children’s heart as they live in mine.

I give back in some way. Whether it is money or helping others who are in need or even just backing treats for friends. It doesn’t have to be a huge thing. Maybe a friend needs a babysitter or you can volunteer at a shelter. Whatever you are comfortable with.

I try something new. I have never been into going out in the cold to experience Christmas but this year I have on several occasions found myself outside experiencing new things to celebrate this time of year.

I have learned that it is okay to grieve over and over.

As long as you don’t let it hold you back from enjoying the life you still have.

So I say to you that no matter where you are and who you have lost..

I hope that you find a way to have joy in the holidays and experience life the way they would want you to.

I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

May you experience a peace that you never knew was possible among the grief you may feel.